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The Truth About Running

September 20, 2019


>>IT WAS MY DAUGHTER MALLORY.
SHE ASKED US FOR A STOPWATCH FOR HER BIRTHDAY. I NEVER SUSPECTED ANYTHING.
>>MY SON MATT STARTED HANGING OUT WITH A NEW CROWD. I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOOD KIDS, BUT SOON HE STARTED WEARING SHORT-SHORTS AND T-SHIRTS WITH BAD PUNS.>>WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?
RUNNING NOSE.>>I KNOW.
>>EVERY YEAR 13 MILLION KIDS TRY DISTANCE RUNNING FOR THE FIRST TIME. UNAWARE THAT THEY’RE BEGINNING A LIFE OF CHAFFING AND MALE THIGH EXPOSURE.
>>YOU DR. SCHOLL’S?>>INDEED I AM.
YOU GUYS NEED SHOES?>>YEAH.
>>OH, BAM. AND THESE RIGHT HERE.
TRY THOSE ON FOR SIZE.>>WHAT’S THIS GOING TO RUN US?
>>IT’S 25.>>GIVE IT TO HIM.
>>YEAH.>>OUR SON ADAM SAID IT WAS JUST A PARTY,
BUT WHEN WE WENT TO GO ON CHECK ON HIM– NO!
IT WAS A 5K. NO!
I HAVE NO SON!>>HONEY, STOP.
>>I HAVE NO SON! DON’T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT COMING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS! [CRYING]>>ADAM!
>>YOU ARE LITERALLY BREAKING YOUR MOTHER’S HEART.>>SOON 5KS WEREN’T ENOUGH. HE STARTED GETTING INTO MARATHONS.
>>WHAT IS THIS? OKAY!
>>IT JUST KEPT GETTING MEDAL, AFTER MEDAL, AFTER MEDAL–>>AFTER MEDAL.
HIS NECK…>>SO MUCH WEIGHT, IT JUST DRUG HIM DOWN.
>>EVERYDAY MORE AND MORE OF THESE HOODLUMS ARE RUNNING THE STREETS.
BUT WHAT ARE THEY RUNNING FROM? WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO HIDE?
WE GOT TO GET BACK TO TRADITIONAL VALUES LIKE WALKING, SITTING DOWN–
>>I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE WARNING SIGNS.
YOU KNOW, HE WAS RUNNING IN PLACE A LOT AND USED GEL INSERTS.
I MEAN, I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE YOU FIND THAT KIND OF THING.
>>SUSPECT IS BEING CHARGED WITH DISTANCE RUNNING, RUNNER’S HIGH, FREAKISH SCRAWNINESS–
>>HEY!>>YOU KEEP QUIET.
>>BUT AS THE RUNNING EPIDEMIC SPREADS, PARENTS AND TEACHERS ARE POWERLESS TO STOP IT.>>WE TOOK AWAY HER RUNNING SHOES
HOPING SHE WOULD STOP AND THEN WE HEAR ABOUT THIS THING
CALLED BARE-FOOT RUNNING? WAS THIS SOME SORT OF SICK JOKE?
I MEAN, WHERE DOES IT STOP?>>PARENTS, TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT DISTANCE RUNNING. HELP THEM FIND BETTER HOBBIES LIKE VIDEO GAMES.
>>COULD YOU STOP IT FOR MINUTE MATT?>>NAPPING OR DIABETES.
>>IF YOU DON’T EAT YOUR DONUT YOU CAN’T HAVE BROCCOLI.
>>NO, DAD. IT’S GOING TO SLOW ME DOWN.
>>I’M WORRIED ABOUT YOU.>>IN EXTREME CASES SEEK MEDICAL HELP.
>>YOUR SON HAS TESTED POSITIVE FOR SHIN SPLINTS.>>CHOP THE LEG.
>>IT’S–>>CHOP THE LEG.>>DISTANCE RUNNING, IT’S A DANGEROUS
AND SLIPPERY SLOPE. SOMETIMES A HEALTHY LIFE IS WORSE THAN DEATH.

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100 Comments

  • Reply Allison Duquette July 14, 2019 at 8:36 pm

    Because of this video – I finally had the courage to talk to my teenager about the horrible affects of healthy running…she's sworn to me that she will NEVER run…unless there's a donut she really wants.

  • Reply Big Boy July 15, 2019 at 10:41 pm

    Parents in 2019

  • Reply Jeremy Hoerauf July 19, 2019 at 5:33 pm

    In a world where running is an addiction

  • Reply bassuru niwo July 20, 2019 at 12:02 pm

    ahahaahahahahaahahaahahahahahaahhahh this is madness

  • Reply Matt The fakeDragon July 20, 2019 at 12:37 pm

    "you are LITERALLY breaking your mothers heart!"

    I so expected captain literally to jump out with a hammer

  • Reply William Reiner July 21, 2019 at 6:07 pm

    Doctor: your child tested positive for shin splints.

    Mom: CHOP THE LAY-G!!!!!

  • Reply Katie July 21, 2019 at 10:44 pm

    2019?
    I remember watching this when I was like 8 and it actually freaked me out lmao

  • Reply Jayden 123 July 22, 2019 at 10:00 pm

    "Help then find better hobbies, like video games, napping, and diabetes."

    I died! 😂🤣😂

  • Reply MythicalKittydog July 22, 2019 at 11:30 pm

    "if you don't eat your donut you can't have broccoli" haha

  • Reply Dalton Brown July 24, 2019 at 3:09 am

    1:39 "officer Looscrew" Haha

  • Reply Catpawstrifie CatNat July 24, 2019 at 6:25 pm

    Chop the leg CHOP THE LEG

  • Reply Jacie Brewer July 25, 2019 at 7:15 am

    Wait a sec… cops RUNNING to catch the runners?? ILLEGAL!

  • Reply jelly baby July 25, 2019 at 8:34 pm

    This video is the cause of obesity in America

  • Reply Wb2006xx Production July 25, 2019 at 10:38 pm

    I sent this to my friend who runs in the school cross country team

  • Reply Sydney Cronmiller July 26, 2019 at 1:01 am

    Lol I love running and I’m out from an injury right now lol this is hilarious

  • Reply Alissa Castillo July 26, 2019 at 4:16 am

    Wish my parents forced diabetes and naps

  • Reply Captain Crusher July 26, 2019 at 12:59 pm

    I don’t get it. Can someone please explain?

  • Reply Princess Sofie July 26, 2019 at 4:52 pm

    This is what everyone feels

  • Reply Enya Lim July 27, 2019 at 5:54 am

    It does sound like it could be an interesting dystopian world

  • Reply Leon Scott Kennedy0 July 27, 2019 at 10:55 am

    Really

  • Reply Machu Picchu July 27, 2019 at 7:17 pm

    I was so excited when I saw king county WA I live there!

  • Reply Nameless Duck July 28, 2019 at 1:53 am

    2:33 when it's bedtime

  • Reply 07MDAH July 28, 2019 at 6:25 am

    0:50 I love the way Jason fumbled out of the car

  • Reply Mr. Doobz July 29, 2019 at 11:04 am

    Captain literally comes to 1:20 and break the mom’s heart with a sledgehammer

  • Reply Old Kennygmo account July 29, 2019 at 5:14 pm

    Omg I live in one of thos exact areas

  • Reply atlas999 July 29, 2019 at 5:15 pm

    Chop the leg CHOP THE LEG

  • Reply Eragon Shadeslayer July 30, 2019 at 9:02 am

    i am so confused

  • Reply Kade007 August 1, 2019 at 3:54 am

    0:37 Prefontaine!

  • Reply 肥鮑 August 2, 2019 at 7:22 am

    I hope
    I didn’t like running

  • Reply Kiri Weeb August 2, 2019 at 10:44 pm

    Why did this make me want to run more??? 😐

  • Reply No But yes August 4, 2019 at 12:47 pm

    I like that no one was talking about how they were playing the wii xD

  • Reply Skits on Steroids August 6, 2019 at 3:07 am

    U r LITERALLY breaking ur moms heart

  • Reply Roy D. Lao August 7, 2019 at 6:09 pm

    "chop the leg!"

    Runs with prosthetic leg

  • Reply Noelle Gosnell August 9, 2019 at 3:45 pm

    did i hear the prophet at the end????

  • Reply Nimbleduck 424 August 10, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    This is the saddest thing I have ever seen

  • Reply If you like Piña colada’s August 11, 2019 at 3:50 am

    I run long distance. Oops

  • Reply Pizzalover 59 August 12, 2019 at 12:12 am

    😂😂😂

  • Reply JAC00BZA 315 August 12, 2019 at 7:38 pm

    Can someone explain this to me

  • Reply Bethany August 13, 2019 at 3:23 pm

    This made me feel great…
    I'm not athletic at all and despise running.
    LOVE IT

  • Reply Zain ALATTAR August 13, 2019 at 7:31 pm

    This is pretty much most Americans

  • Reply Ryan Sathish August 13, 2019 at 8:51 pm

    2:40 if only breakfast was so simple

  • Reply Yama 123numbercauseYTdemandsname August 14, 2019 at 12:18 am

    Run, boy, run! This world is not made for you
    Run, boy, run! They’re trying to catch you
    Run, boy, run! Running is a victory
    Run, boy, run! Beauty lies behind the hills

    Run, boy, run! The sun will be guiding you
    Run, boy, run! They’re dying to stop you
    Run, boy, run! This race is a prophecy
    Run, boy, run! Break out from society

    For those not understanding the joke: I know that the original theme of the song is a different one. But it can be funny at times to bring two different things that had previously been unconnected together.

  • Reply Getsnipedkid 369 August 14, 2019 at 12:36 pm

    “Sir did you know how fast you were running?”
    “30 miles an hour”
    “Sir this is a school zone you are going 10 miles over the speed limit”

  • Reply Just Happy August 15, 2019 at 10:25 pm

    The new gym video

  • Reply Doodledragon 27 August 15, 2019 at 11:34 pm

    I don’t think this will ever happen to me….

    I’m a fatass

  • Reply The Big Pig August 17, 2019 at 2:01 am

    I run regularly

  • Reply Epic Ablaze August 18, 2019 at 12:38 am

    I’m so confused

  • Reply Tye dye pandas! August 18, 2019 at 11:45 am

    If I did this my parents would be so proud. Not like I would but, you know.

  • Reply Gabs August 18, 2019 at 10:20 pm

    You just can't run from it

  • Reply flufflepufflover August 19, 2019 at 9:03 am

    Why America has an obesity epidemic

  • Reply Hannah S August 22, 2019 at 1:53 am

    "You are LITERALLY breaking your mother's heart!"
    The Man, the Myth, the Murderer.

  • Reply Audrey and Remington August 22, 2019 at 3:01 am

    And that, my friends, is why I swim.

  • Reply hugmonsters August 24, 2019 at 10:18 pm

    all the dislikes are from runners

  • Reply Zeke n' Zuki n' Me August 25, 2019 at 3:35 pm

    "You are literally breaking your mother's heart!!"
    Captain Literally appears.
    Captain Literally: "I should have stayed home…"

  • Reply Vivian GoDair August 25, 2019 at 7:33 pm

    This would be one last society

  • Reply meco mingtomo August 26, 2019 at 2:55 pm

    This is exactly why I don't run, never want to fall… Into this trap, thanks for sharing

  • Reply Nick Latino August 27, 2019 at 7:25 pm

    As a teenage distance runner, I find this funny! Btw, the tauramaha of Northern Mexico can run up to 300 miles in a single race

  • Reply Nick Latino August 27, 2019 at 7:28 pm

    Hahaha, traditional values of Walking and sitting. Lol. Running is faster

  • Reply Genie 97 August 28, 2019 at 3:38 pm

    "I have no son…………I HAVE NO SON!!!!

  • Reply Sophia Sass August 28, 2019 at 6:15 pm

    me as a distance runner:

    ouch ☹️

  • Reply Kaleb Koch August 28, 2019 at 6:16 pm

    1:04 why is Adam like 25 feet tall?

  • Reply banana-shaped earth August 29, 2019 at 12:16 pm

    I'm in stdio c marathon again. maybe I should subscribe.

  • Reply michaelangelocrazy01 August 29, 2019 at 1:46 pm

    Who else has tested positive for shin splints??

  • Reply Reece Braithwaite August 29, 2019 at 8:24 pm

    wow i didn't realize this before but this sketch has almost the same background music as the TV soap opera parody in the dramatic parts

  • Reply Olena Conrad August 29, 2019 at 10:05 pm

    Ok, so I went to cross country practice this morning at 7:30, ran a mile time trial and am now watching this a couple hours later…………….
    Lol!

  • Reply Awesome Boy August 30, 2019 at 4:59 am

    SOLUTION: CHOP THE LEGS! 🙂

  • Reply Yasmin Vuong August 31, 2019 at 3:09 am

    This video is extremely inaccurate…

    Seattle is never that sunny

  • Reply Nosknut August 31, 2019 at 2:23 pm

    People running to stay fit is in fact an enviromemtal issue. Tracks in nature were not designed for so many people so they get ruined and animals end up loosing their homes

  • Reply Lars van der Laan August 31, 2019 at 10:43 pm

    Kids these days keep RUNNING away from they're problems

  • Reply Jessica Ho September 1, 2019 at 3:21 am

    At the end this is me uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  • Reply Addie Keller September 1, 2019 at 8:53 pm

    "If you don't eat your donut you can't have broccoli"
    LOL

  • Reply NEXT of KIN September 1, 2019 at 9:49 pm

    Studio C: "The Truth About Running"
    *Forest Gump has entered the chat

  • Reply Vee September 3, 2019 at 11:46 am

    Chop the legs lmao

  • Reply Sophia Solorio September 4, 2019 at 3:40 am

    As a cross country runner this is so funny to me because in a way this thing is kinda true because u wanna run but also hang with friends but most friends don't want to run so u just end up like those kids

  • Reply TheNotoriousCheeto September 5, 2019 at 1:24 am

    My dad is a running. 30 miles, 50 miles, marathons, he does them all. I was lucky to stay clean. I had a near miss in high school when he made me do cross country. But as soon as I got to college, I was able to get myself together. Now I weight over 300 lbs and can't walk more than a few feet. Thank goodness.

  • Reply Josie Cline September 5, 2019 at 7:23 pm

    you guys are so funny i watch you all the time with my cousin lily

  • Reply harmony arakaki September 5, 2019 at 11:45 pm

    Stop running, it’s an epidemic

  • Reply Skyler Fall September 6, 2019 at 6:12 am

    Bruh

  • Reply Jong Ray Holk September 6, 2019 at 10:07 am

    Watch 1:00 without sound lol

  • Reply Kaitlyn Belle September 6, 2019 at 8:20 pm

    Wait 25 dollars for TWO pairs of shoes!!!!!!!!
    Where is this guy?!

  • Reply eisenheim September 7, 2019 at 3:35 pm

    I got a DUI after running high.

  • Reply Silas McManus September 8, 2019 at 6:51 pm

    Me and my brother are both cross country runners

  • Reply Amir September 9, 2019 at 4:52 am

    I actually run a 10k almost every day and this is no joke my dad is mad of me
    Seriously
    This is no joke
    He says you lose muscle
    IM ALREADY 190 POUNDS!!!!!

  • Reply kickbuttme September 9, 2019 at 4:11 pm

    LOL

  • Reply Karsyn Kandy September 9, 2019 at 10:24 pm

    I should show to my xc or track coach…

  • Reply Nef eril September 10, 2019 at 5:13 am

    I ran out of time before I could start…

  • Reply Jikotani Lakepa September 11, 2019 at 4:25 am

    MADTV and Studio C still the best sketch comedy series

  • Reply wolfe dima September 11, 2019 at 3:26 pm

    it's supposed to be a joke and all but sometimes thinking you're healthy is actually worse than death

  • Reply Mat1bat ! September 11, 2019 at 6:03 pm

    I feel like this could be a democratic debate

  • Reply SimpleQuantum September 14, 2019 at 5:40 am

    Everyone: I walk/run to work/school!

    Bikes: allow us to introduce ourselves

  • Reply Madi-Madalynn September 15, 2019 at 3:18 am

    I honestly love running! 😂

  • Reply Why hello there September 17, 2019 at 2:07 am

    Okay, as a cross country runner this video was hilarious. "I thought it was a party, but than I went to go check on him and it was… a 5k" that lined killed me.

  • Reply Casey Holland September 17, 2019 at 11:32 am

    1:12 did anybody else hear Jason's high pitch wail

  • Reply Daniel Nunya Bidnezz September 17, 2019 at 4:17 pm

    Kiiiiinda missed the punchline here. 😕

  • Reply M.Q.S. September 18, 2019 at 12:07 am

    This is the opposite of me.

  • Reply KevinTheMexic 123 September 18, 2019 at 5:05 pm

    Shin-splints freaking sucks

  • Reply Amanda Whitten September 18, 2019 at 5:53 pm

    What's this gonna run us?🤣🤣🤣

  • Reply Panic The Scholar Knight. September 19, 2019 at 12:53 am

    So the dad in that one was literally acting like a mom. Yikes.

  • Reply The Nubs - Fortnite September 19, 2019 at 1:09 am

    Just sounds like normal americans to me.

  • Reply Amanda Davis September 19, 2019 at 7:49 pm

    I just sent this to my sister who is a cross country runner.

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