-Demi Moore is here. [ Cheers and applause ] Demi Moore! Justin Hartley is here,
and… [ Cheers and applause ] …Mark Ronson are all here. [ Cheers and applause ] It’s actually
a pretty crazy coincidence, because we have
a bit of a history. Now, a lot of people
don’t know this, but all four of us
went to law school together. [ Laughter ] We worked at the same law firm
back in the late ’80s, and we even shot
some commercials. But to keep
our line readings fresh, our director wouldn’t
let us see the lines until we were shooting. We were just reading them
for the first time, live. Well, I found
one of our own commercials. So, here for the first time
in decades is an ad for the law offices of Moore,
Hartley, Ronson, and Fallon. -Do you need legal aid
but don’t know where to turn? Worry no more, because your search
for a lawyer is over. No matter the case,
the law offices of Moore, Hartley,
Ronson, and Fallon will fight for you
to get you the help you deserve. ♪♪ [ Laughter ] -Moore, Hartley, Ronson, and
Fallon is a team you can trust. Are we the best lawyers
in the world? No. But are we
the worst lawyers in the world? Absolutely. -I went to Harvard Law School, And by Harvard,
I mean university. And by “law school,”
I mean Phoenix. That’s right. I got my degree online
at the University of Phoenix. And so, too, can you,
my little boo. [ Cheers and applause ] -I doesn’t do words good, but I does do
lawyer stuff happy. You hire me to do’s
good job for you? Pwease? Thank you, Daddy. -Is our next one —
You go first? -We go together.
[ Cheers and applause ] -One time, I got my hand stuck in a Pringles can
for 20 minutes. I sue Pringles for $10 million
and lost, and I’d do the same for you,
guaranteed. [ Cheers and applause ] -Hey.
Hey, hey, hey! Have you ever wondered why
they sell doughnut holes but they don’t sell bagel holes? -We’re gonna sue
those bagel bastards and get you the cream cheese
that you deserve. [ Laughter ] -[ Laughs ] Did a motorist
hit you from behind? Did a cement block
fall on your foot? -Did a snowball
hit you in your mama’s face? Well, if we can’t get you
the money you deserve… -…then our name
isn’t Neil Patrick Harris. [ Laughter and applause ] -If you need help,
just call us at 1-800-555-0199. Ex– [ Laughs ] Extension 7727772. Ask for Carol. She’ll patch you through
to our main office. [ Laughter ] Wait 45 seconds for the tone, then wait another nine minutes
for the beep. Enter your
Social Security number followed by the pound sign. We’re open
from 1:00 p.m. on Monday to 1:15 p.m. on Monday. [ Laughter ] If you can’t reach us, leave your name
and a call-back number. We won’t call you back,
but we will text you nudes. [ Cheers and applause ] -And if you’re looking
for a settlement and you’re hungry for justice,
then — I mean, are you also
hungry for food? I have a $100 gift card
to Chili’s. And your girl’s jonesing
for some jalapeño poppers. Pop, pop, pop, pop! [ Laughter ]
Pop, pop, pop! Pop! [ Cheers and applause ] -I dropped acid
15 minutes ago. [ Laughter ] Uh-oh. [ Laughter ] -Roses are red,
violets are blue. One time, I got my penis stuck
in a pool filter. [ Laughter ] The paramedics didn’t show up
for three months. It was the best
summer of my life. [ Laughter ] -We talk together. -We’re —
[ Laughter ] We’re the team
that will fight for you. -And we got the experience
and expertise to prove it. -Want to see us all
bab 10 times in a row and then scream,
“It’s the law, bitches”? -Check this crap out. -It’s the law, Bitches! -The Law Offices of Moore,
Hartley, Ronson, and Fallon. Call now. [ Cheers and applause ] -Guys, my thanks to
Demi Mo– [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] My thanks to Demi Moore,
Justin Hartley, and Mark Ronson!
we’ve known each other — I’ve known you for years. You’ve been a famous actress
for many years, but you used to have
an entirely different career. You used to be a lawyer.
-Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that’s right,
back in the ’90s, yeah. -Yeah, and a lot of people
don’t know this, but I was a lawyer, as well.
-Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. -And we actually worked
at the same law firm before breaking
into entertainment. -Well, yeah, it’s kind of — It’s where we made our acting
debuts, you know, in a way. Do you remember — remember
those commercials we’d shoot? -I don’t.
-Think about it. -Of course I remember them.
Are you kidding me? [ Laughter ] It was the first time being
on camera for both of us. So to keep
our line readings fresh, we wouldn’t see the lines
until while we were shooting. We just read them
off the cue cards. -Right.
[ Laughter ] -And you could really tell
that we didn’t rehearse. -Mm.
[ Laughter ] -Well, guess what. I actually found
one of our old commercials. -[ Gasps ]
No. -So, here for
the first time in decades, one of our ads for the law
offices of Moore & Fallon. Take a look.
[ Cheers and applause ] -The law offices of
Moore & Fallon will fight for you to get you
the help you deserve. ♪♪ -At Moore & Fallon…
[ Laughter ] …we’ll take on your case
and make sure you win. Fighting a speeding ticket?
No problem. Just don’t pay it. [ Laughter ] That’s what I did. [ Laughter ] And all that happened
was that I went to jail. [ Laughter ]
[ Gavel bangs ] -Hey, you want to sue
the Cheesecake Factory? We’ll sue the Cheesecake Factory
for $20 million. [ Laughter ] ‘Cause last time I checked,
that place isn’t a factory. It’s a restaurant.
[ Laughter ] Get it together, idiots. [ Laughter and applause ] -Have you or a loved one
suffered after being bitten by Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine? [ Laughter ] How did that even happen?
Why would he bite you? I need — [ Laughter and applause ] -If you need legal help,
log on to our website now at www.mooreandfallon.com/ newcases/formsnewemail.com dot gov dot law 4799999999999
dot law. [ Laughter ] -Have you ever been injured?
-Do you need help? -What’s the deal with air–
airline food? [ Laughter ] -Why do we park in the driveway
but drive in the parkway? -We have so many questions, but
we don’t know how Google works. -It’s conf–
It’s confusing! [ Laughter ] -My parents thought
I was gonna be a twin. [ Laughter ] And it turns out I was just
a super chubby baby. [ Gavel bangs ]
[ Laughter ] -Me big lawyer.
Me make big-time money. Me throw money in trash.
[ Laughter ] Trash can rich now.
I make trash can money. [ Laughter ] -Remember that lady who spilled
McDonald’s coffee on herself and then got a bunch of money
for it? We were the lawyers
for McDonald’s. Not really.
[ Laughter and applause ] -Wha–
[ Laughter ] -I’m a little bit country. -And I’m a little bit
rock ‘n’ roll. -Which is why
we wrote this jingle. [ Laughter ] -Oh, no.
[ Laughing ] -♪ Moore and Fallon ♪
♪ Moore and Fallon ♪ ♪ We charge
a hundred bucks an hour ♪ ♪ But we only accept Bitcoin ♪ -When was this?
[ Cheers and applause ] -The law offices
of Moore & Fallon. Call now.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Wow. We —
-Yeah. I —
-We instantly went bankrupt. -I can’t believe it. -Also that we knew
what Bitcoin was in the ’90s. -I know.
-And Google. -And Google.
-My thanks to Julianne Moore.